but what are you going to do with the hot dogs?

my mom watched the real housewives of new jersey with extreme dedication. i didn't get too into the show; i caught a few episodes when it happened to be on, and it did not fail to entertain. my mother on the other hand is an enthusiast. she digitally recorded most of the episodes, and often walks around quoting the show and then cackling to herself.

then she really lost it.

here: my mother's poem.

Poem for New Jersey

I am paying attention.

Obviously, there has to be something else.

It's not just name change and arrested.

There has to be something else.

Are you stripping?

Prostitution whore!

You were fucking engaged 19 times!

Bullshit!

You fucking stupid bitch!

Don't fucking tell me I'm fucking airheaded and stupid.

Because that's what pissed me off

And then tell me to fucking pay attention.

She doesn't know who the fuck she's fucking with.

And I have no fucking skeletons

In my fucking closet,

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you.